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Put both names on the envelope. The standard is to write each person's name, joined by "and", with the person you know better (or either, alphabetically) first: "Jordan Ellis and Casey Ellis". Couples with different last names get both names too; the old "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" form still appears on formal invitations but reads dated in everyday mail.
| Situation | How to write it |
|---|---|
| Same last name | Jordan Ellis and Casey Ellis |
| Different last names | Jordan Ellis and Casey Moreau |
| Very formal invitation | Mr. and Mrs. Jordan Ellis |
| One partner is a doctor | Dr. Casey Ellis and Jordan Ellis |
| Same-sex couple, same last name | Jordan Ellis and Casey Ellis (alphabetical by first name) |
Write both full names, joined by "and". "Jordan Ellis and Casey Moreau" is correct and complete. Don't hyphenate them together yourself, don't pick one surname to represent the household, and don't stack one name above the other unless you're out of room on the line. If the envelope is narrow, two lines are fine, but keep the "and" connecting them so it reads as one household.
Order is a judgment call. Tradition says list the person you're closer to first, or the person the letter is really for. Alphabetical order by first name is the neutral fallback when neither applies, and it's what most etiquette guides now recommend as the default. Nobody keeps score on this; they just notice whether both names made it onto the envelope.
It's not wrong, but it's fading. The traditional form addresses the couple through the husband's name, which made sense when a wife's legal identity folded into her husband's and reads as old-fashioned now. You'll still see it on formal wedding invitations and very traditional stationery, where some hosts deliberately choose the old form for tone. For everyday mail, birthday cards, thank-you notes, condolence letters, the two-names form is the modern standard.
If you do use titles, match the couple. "Mr. and Mrs." assumes a husband and wife; it doesn't fit every couple. When in doubt, skip the titles and use names. Names are never wrong.
The same rules apply, which is the point. Two full names joined by "and", alphabetical by first name when you need a tiebreaker. There's no special form, and inventing one would be the mistake. If one partner uses a title professionally, that title goes with their name the way it would for anyone.
One practical note for formal events: some invitation suites still print "Mr. and Mrs." as the default couple line. If you're addressing invitations for a same-sex couple, or any couple where the traditional line doesn't fit, default to both names. It's correct in every setting, formal or not.
A professional title outranks a social one. If one partner is a doctor, judge, or professor, their title leads: "Dr. Casey Ellis and Jordan Ellis". If both hold titles, use both: "Drs. Ellis and Moreau" works when they share a surname, or write each out fully when they don't. Never demote a professional title to fit the couple format; the person earned the title, and the envelope should show it.
Inside the letter, the salutation follows the same logic. "Dear Jordan and Casey" is warm and correct for personal mail. For formal correspondence, "Dear Mr. Ellis and Ms. Moreau" matches whatever titles you used on the envelope.
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